 Fifteen, Australian. Photography, good music, good friends, good memories. Long phone calls. Amor Vincit Omnia, ♥. |
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Everything ends; it's never over (never over).
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Your wrecking ball of words
rolling through my head and falling for my heart.
"I love you" is just a sweeter way of saying that I'll break you in the end.
I love you, however..
"I love you" is just a sweeter way of saying that I'll break you in the end.Coming soon.
Missing you,
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Missing you, only more like a bullet to the head.- afadthatlastsforever, Beau Taplin.
I hate it here. I hate it, so much.
I don't even know what I need, just that whatever it is - I'm not finding it here.
This always happens. A few good days - Thursday, was nice. Friday was amazing. I got what I needed on Saturday night. Sunday and Monday were nothing special, but they were enough. Then there was today. A fall, a crash, a bad day - inevitable, right? Expected, even. That didn't make me ready. That doesn't make me okay.
And now I'm off-topic. Like usual.
I've thought about the ways I could leave. Turned the possibilities over and over in my mind, plenty of times. I could go to a boarding school, somewhere - anywhere. I have that possibility open to me, and none of you would believe how close I've been to taking it. But that would mean leaving. You, me and everyone else we know - all know that I'm not strong enough to be able to do that. I'd have to leave my 'friends'. Regardless of the knowledge I have of how widely disliked I actually am, I love those kids. They make things bearable when I miss her; they make me forget the bad things that hurt. They make it - dare I say it? - okay. Here isn't what I need, but they are.
I'd be unhappy no matter where I was. I'm hopeless, in the literal meaning of the word.
I'm two-quarters and a heart down, and I don't wanna forget how your voice sounds. These words are all I have, so I'll write them.
I'll regret this..
Thursday, October 22, 2009
But, I honestly don't care if it's impulsive.Fuck you. Fuck you so very much.
I know you're brilliant. I know you're absolutely fucking perfect. I know that.
I also know I'm nothing near as good as you. You don't have to rub it in my face.
I don't care if you've known bands for longer than me and you've had their entire discography for ages when I only have one or two songs. That does not make you any fucking better than I am; it doesn't make me any less of a fan. Don't act like it does.
And you were promised to go? Yeah, well, so was I. The fact that I need someone to take me doesn't mean shit. Don't penalise me for where I live. That's not fair.
I was going to try. I'm not sure I'll bother any more. Fuck you - you can be as miserable as I will be when the time comes around.
/end angry blog.
Note:
Saturday, October 3, 2009
I promised a blog, but I'm not getting it done any time soon. I'm leaving tomorrow.If I get bored enough on the train, I'll upload it via email from there, but I highly doubt it - it's only an hour and a half trip.
So, this is it. :)
(Man, I sound so tragic, all the time.. Haha!)
I think I will miss my house. I say house, simply because I do not feel like this is "home" - and I doubt I'll miss my parents. I'm going to miss my friends. And I feel bad for all the things I cannot attend during the holidays.
But, this is what I need. So, to any of my friends - sorry I can't come to anything! Have fun at the holiday birthday parties! :)
I'll be getting off the net soon.
Miss me a little, yeah, kids? Love, love. x