 Fifteen, Australian. Photography, good music, good friends, good memories. Long phone calls. Amor Vincit Omnia, ♥. |
october09 september09 august09 july09 |
myspace buzznet deviantart formspring socialvibe Colours / Headers Icon |
Without You Is How I Disappear.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I have so much to blog about right now that it's all fucking each other over and I can't come out with a single word or phrase. Ugh.I over-think everything far too much. To the point where I manage to upset myself over what should be absolutely nothing. I'm egotistical. I think everything about you and your friends is about me. I'm so fucking flawed that I look like I'm okay. Does that make sense? No. But when exactly do I make sense? I'm just a walking contradiction, aren't I? I can't possibly be the only person that notices it, can I? I like to think I'm more mature than most people my age. But I'm not. I'm just acting. Pretending. Wanting; hoping. I'm just too caught up in my "troubles" to act like a 14 year old. I just need to loosen up.
My friends, are fucking amazing. I've said this so many times in the past few blogs, but I can't get over it. Honestly. Our group, kind of got bigger, over time. I'm friends with people I'd never thought I would be. I thought my best friend and I, had no hope. But, we're best friends now. We're pretty much like a family.We have a "mother" figure. We have the kids. The wayward, hilarious one - my favourite. The quiet, but funny one. The smart, loud one. The just-a-normal-kid. The one who's hardly ever there, but you know they still care. Then there's the not-so-immediate family members, the stragglers. But I love them all. Every single one of them.
It saddens me to realise, that they don't need me like I need them. That I'm the "expendable" one, so to speak. That, they'd much rather each other's company, than mine. But, that's okay. Because, as long as they're happy, it's all cool. :)
I'd never really thought about the world around me properly, until today. Like, not how beautiful it is; or that "I respect it" - fuck all that. It's all going to the shitter in a few hundred years anyways, no matter what we do now. Just that it's the same world that everyone I care about lives in. I'd never thought about the significance of that, before.
The sun I look at every morning, is the same one that shines through your window. The moon that I find so beautiful, shines upon you, too. The stars twinkling in the sky - you can see them from where you are, too.
And, as far away as you are, the ones I care about - you're always close. Somewhere along that strip of land, and maybe through some water, you're there.
My fluency and eloquence with words kinda fails when I'm not terribly upset. Fuck that.
ENOUGH ABOUT ME: How are you all? I'll put my chatbox back on for you kids right now. :)
Uh. PS: Sorry I swear so much, these days. =|