 Fifteen, Australian. Photography, good music, good friends, good memories. Long phone calls. Amor Vincit Omnia, ♥. |
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One Sleepless Night Becomes Bitter Oblivion.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
And I could hardly get myself out of her bed, for fear of never laying in this bed again.I remembered it so well. It's been, what, four weeks? Five, maybe? And I remember almost everything. That, in itself, is unusual for me. I have a terrible memory - even when I want to hold on to something.
Oh, Christ. I'm not that desperate. Oh, no. Oh, God. I am.
The memories are cloaking themselves, now, with little blind spots. Little things, and times, I remembered - they're disappearing now. And I hate that. I hate that I can't remember fully and treasure the small amount of time I've spent with the one I love.
You're in my web, now.
I also hate that I can remember it. I hate that the more I remember it, the more I need her around. Even though, right now, that's entirely impossible: it's exactly what I need. I can't be away from her now.
I awake, alone.
These five weeks really did push it. And I'm only half way there. I'm not sure if it's obvious, or not, but I can't do this.
I awake, alone. Pretend that I am finally home.