 Fifteen, Australian. Photography, good music, good friends, good memories. Long phone calls. Amor Vincit Omnia, ♥. |
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I'm going home tomorrow.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Yep. You read it. I'm getting picked up tomorrow afternoon.Dread.
Will it happen again?
I hope not. Because I really can't do that again. Honestly. I'm not that strong.
Don't worry, hold your head up - you'll be fine, of course. It always turns out okay. Especially for good people.
What if I'm not a good person?
Well, then you're screwed, aren't you?
Yep.
Help.
No, I can't. She doesn't want it.
And? Last time you didn't help when she 'didn't want it' remember what happened?
Yeah. But, this time she really doesn't. Like, really.
So?
You know I'd give her absolutely anything she wants.
I know.
Vivid. I had a really vivid dream, last night. I was sick, terribly sick. Not normal sick, though. Depression, maybe? It wasn't right. Nothing was. She didn't exist anymore.
Where did she go?
I don't know. The place I wanted to, I think. The place I'd be going soon.
Where's that?
Away.
Okay..
Yeah. Anyways, I had it all planned. I was here.. But I was going home. I was scheming.. Faking sick, taking today off school. A clean break.
A clean break? As if that'd hurt them any less.
Shut up. Let me finish. Dad, was going away.. Getting parts from.. somewhere north of this deadbeat town. Thursday - bingo day for Mum. She wouldn't be there either.
Him.
Oh, he only works for Dad, over in the shed.. That damn thing is, like, a kilometer away -- as if he'll hear me. And, you? I said shut up... Anyways, I had it all planned. I was going to end this - go to where she was.
But she wasn't really there.
I know that - shut up! She was, in my dream. It was all very real. You have no idea how much pain I was in, even in a dream.
Yeah, sure.
Ugh. Honestly, you. Anyways, my friends Mum came in to wake us up - in my dream, of course - and I really put it on. The best sick act I ever did in my entire life. Too bad it'd be the last. She called my Mum, I went home. Everyone left, I started to cry. This was the end. Such a bitch, I am. I wouldn't even say bye to them, wouldn't even thank them for making me hold on!
Them?
Girlfriend. Best friend. Everyone else.
Oh.
Yeah. But, then I woke up. Like, for real.
Oh?
It wasn't the same. I wasn't.. depressed. In alot of pain, certainly. Still, while I was awake! I hope these dreams go away, and quickly. Last time..
Last time?
Oh, yes. There was a last time.
"AMY! Bed."
Goodbye, and goodnight, world.